Failure
Monday, May 13, 2013
i wondered if travel a 4-hours journey twice for an interview as long as 15 minutes paid off — the desire, not the experience — all the hassles and troubles i threw myself into or the complete other way round . just because i was so absorbed in my own interest and wanted to work in a publishing company desperately, i will myself to travel out of my comfort zone, to a place where i have zero familiarity, a place where screaming for help will only bring you to the painful realization that you are as helpless and lonely as you are instead of getting real help. i toss all that aside anyway, reinforced my interest and went for the interview.
i never thought i would go to that extent in my entire life. and you know the worst part about it is the fact that after all the shits you go through — willingly, you did not nail it. you did not perform well in the interview, you lack of some software skills and your portfolio sucks. you were called to wait for an email reply at home. and for the next 4 hours, you drown yourself in anxiety until an email notification finally popped up in your cell "thank you for your interest and recent interview with our company, unfortunately we are unable to offer you an internship at this time."
and that's that.
you fucking screwed it all up. you failed.
it hits me like a wave. i don't know if i should feel happy or sad — for both the fact that i finally know where my weaknesses lie and exactly how suck my weaknesses are. for a moment i do not know what to do. my effort in creating art has been acknowledged with dean's list twice but that particular acknowledgement was rejected by a publishing company i'm dying to work for. i couldn't stop thinking about all the circumstances i'm going to face if i were to go for another interview.
i guess this is just the beginning of my internship journey — and it's already crappy as hell. i'm still trying my best to deal with the rejection i had faced earlier and come up with something that would boost my confidence and give me a push of motivation. it's progressing very slowly but i really do hope it works, god bless.
i never thought i would go to that extent in my entire life. and you know the worst part about it is the fact that after all the shits you go through — willingly, you did not nail it. you did not perform well in the interview, you lack of some software skills and your portfolio sucks. you were called to wait for an email reply at home. and for the next 4 hours, you drown yourself in anxiety until an email notification finally popped up in your cell "thank you for your interest and recent interview with our company, unfortunately we are unable to offer you an internship at this time."
and that's that.
you fucking screwed it all up. you failed.
it hits me like a wave. i don't know if i should feel happy or sad — for both the fact that i finally know where my weaknesses lie and exactly how suck my weaknesses are. for a moment i do not know what to do. my effort in creating art has been acknowledged with dean's list twice but that particular acknowledgement was rejected by a publishing company i'm dying to work for. i couldn't stop thinking about all the circumstances i'm going to face if i were to go for another interview.
i guess this is just the beginning of my internship journey — and it's already crappy as hell. i'm still trying my best to deal with the rejection i had faced earlier and come up with something that would boost my confidence and give me a push of motivation. it's progressing very slowly but i really do hope it works, god bless.
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2 Comments:
Things like this will always happen in life... especially in interviews. Once I fucked up my interview because I didn't prepare well although I was really good in what I was doing before this. Then again, I've learnt from my mistakes and every time if i were to go for an interview, I will always prepare myself but most importantly is your self confidence and your ability to impress the interviewers. All the best to you Grace! Catch up with u someday, daughter! :D
Thank you so much Henry!! your words somehow did make me feel better! i'll definitely be more confident the next time i go for an interview :) thanks again! :) yeap we shall catch up someday! cheers!
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