you know people who hardly dare to outshine themselves are the ones who scared to present themselves. and no. they are not stupid, or dumb. they simply do not know how to express and show themselves. and to be honest, these people are usually smart. they just lack of something, something inside of them that could make them shine.

perhaps i shall address the issue of confidence in this post. to certain people, confidence is something that comes so naturally, you don't need to try you just had it within yourself. i always call these people the lucky bunch. because people with so much confidence would never understand how sad, pathetic and miserable the life of the less-confident. it is always associated with the fear of being reject and the fear of society judgements. i guess learning to accept these 'ugly side' of the society is something big, especially for people with little confidence, and these people certainly include myself.

honestly speaking, i was just thinking about it because i will be starting my internship soon and well, i couldn't deny the fact that it freaks me out to a certain point. i don't know if this is how 'internship' should feels like, but i guess the lack of confidence in me plays a huge part in this case besides all the major and minor considerations.

i'd been thinking about internship for so long but i never thought it would come so fast. for the past few months i kept working on everything that could make me shine and tried so hard to polish myself up, hoping that when the time comes, i will be able to show everyone the best of me but i had to say instead of making myself shine bright like a diamond, i'm panicking like a little duckling who lost track of it's mama. am i really in the condition to go for internship? i do not know.

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